Tech News Update

It’s fascinating to see the way that Twitter is used by various users. It should then be no surprise to find that people are snatching up nearly every profile name of celebrities, politicians, musicians, athletes, and even fictional characters. What follows is a list of some of of these profiles. There are amusing profile pictures, amusing bio’s, amusing Twits, and amusing profile background pictures. Delight in.

SPORTS

Brett Favre

Name brettfavre
Location Green Bay and Kiln
Bio What I’m thinking when I’m not saying it.
Sample Twit “I wish I was on the couch, watching monday night football.”

Roger Clemens
Name Roger Clemens
Location New York
Bio I am the greatest pitcher in baseball history. The Rocket. The Texas Con Man. Stout Billy. Do you know where I can find some STEROIDS?
Sample Twit “About to inject Miley Cyrus, I mean MYSELF with steroids.”

POLITICIANS

Vladimir Putin
Name Vladimir Putin
Location ??????????
Bio KGB and some other stuff…
Sample Twit “just added @oskarlafontaine remember him, but don’t remember where i met him last time…probably cuba.”

Mao Zedong
Name Mao Zedong
Location Beijing
Bio I’m living in The Chairman Mao Memorial Hall. Welcome!!!
Sample Twit “30 more days to go before The Games. The whole nation is going crazy. I like chaos!!!”

Osama bin Laden
Name Osama bin Laden
Location Afghanistan
Bio Leader, al-Qaeda
Sample Twit “Door-tag from UPS Ground says hazardous materials can’t be delivered — curse the infidels! Off to UPS depot…”

Kim Jongil
Name KimJongil
Location Pyongyang, North Korea
Bio i like bugs bunny and cognac
Sample Twit “Off the terrorist list for the second time. w00t!”

Condaleezza Rice
Name Condoleezza Rice
Location Global
Bio Aspiring NFL Chairman or Concert Pianist
Sample Twit “Counting my frequent flyer miles. Huzzah!”

Rudolph Giuliani
Name Rudolph Giuliani
Sample Twit “I’m considering referencing 911 on the campaign trail. Would you be more likely to vote for me if I continuously reference terrorism?”

Bill Clinton
Name Bill Clinton
Location NYC but always on AR time
Bio PISSED OFF!
Sample Twit “John Edwards…why did you cheat on your wife that has cancer, you’re a dog! If Hillary gets sick, that’s it, no more Hoochies! FAMILY FIRST”

George Bush
Name George W. Bush
Sample Twit “i can write boobies on a calculator!”

Dick Cheney
Name Dick Cheney
Location Washington, DC
Bio Vice President of the United States of America. Leisure activities include listening to Toby Keith, shooting stuff, and maintaining a heart healthy diet.
Sample Twit “Won a baboon on eBay. Condition as-is, but I’m going to use the small guy for parts anyway. Never know when the ticker might blow a valve.”

CELEBRITIES

Stephen Cobert
Name Stephen Colbert
Location USA!
Bio Just been polishing my Peabodys and Emmys, working on my books, and uncovering the truth!
Sample Twit “There’s nothing incorrect with stretching the Truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more tasty.”

David Letterman
Name David Letterman
Location New York City
Bio Hi, my name is Dave and I’m running for president.
Sample Twit “Just got back from seeing Regis at the hospital. We compared scars. Pretty similar, of course..I had the quintuple bypass so I win.”

Albert Einstein
Name Albert Einstein
Location Beyond
Bio Looks like we got a regular Albert Einstein on our hands here.
Sample Twit “When you kiss a pretty girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”

Lindsay Lohan
Name Lindsay Lohan
Location Hollywood, CA
Bio Yes, it’s really me.
Sample Twit “@molls – you should stop taking xanax and switch to cocaine.”

Adam Sandler
Name Adam Sandler
Sample Twit “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!”

David Hasselhoff
Name David Hasselhoff
Location Hollywood, California
Bio Star of stage, screen, and song. You like me.
Sample Twit “Deciding which leather jacket to wear”

TELEVISION

MacGyver
Name MacGyver
Location Mission City
Bio Call me Mac….but don’t question me about my first name!
Sample Twit “I want to blow something up! It’s a dull weekend. Give me some hair spray and a lighter!!!!”

Fry
Name Fry
Sample Twit “Wow, Bender started snoring like a construction robot, not just a bending robot. This sucks.”

Bender
Name Bender
Location 41.927429,-87.707366
Bio Follow me, jerk! I may not be the real Bender, but that doesn’t mean I’m not fantastic!
Sample Twit “Man, this economy IS getting rough; the Floozie Bots aren’t raking in nearly as much cash. I might have to switch to Duff!”

Homer Simpson
Name Homer J Simpson
Location Springfield
Bio I work at a nuclear power plant. Married with two kids and a baby.
Sample Twit “Homer got a donut Homer not mad anymore.”

Lisa Simpson
Name Lisa Simpson
Location Springfield
Bio The smart daughter of Homer and Marge Simpson. Maybe I was adopted?
Sample Twit “I’m glad Mom named me instead of Homer who wanted to name me Bartzina!”

Ralph Wiggum
Name Ralph Wiggum
Location Springfield, USA
Bio My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
Sample Twit “I ate too much plastic candy.”

Peter Griffin
Name Peter Grffin
Location My house?
Bio if i had job i would not know it
Sample Twit “alright, should be going to sleep, we got some terrible stuff coming out at night, don’t wanna see them”

Stewie Griffin
Name Stewie Griffin
Location Quahog
Bio I am Stewie Griffin, YOU WILL BOW TO ME!
Sample Twit “Aha! So they do make larger diapers! That deceitful woman told me I’d have to learn to use the toilet!”

Lost
Name Lost
Sample Twit “4 8 15 16 23 42?

Sawyer
Name Sawyer
Sample Twit “Checking out Kate’s ass”

STAR WARS

Chewbacca
Name Chewbacca
Location Rome, Italy
Bio hnnnhrrhhh awwgggghhh wrrhwrwwhw!
Sample Twit “AAAAAaaaahurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnn! WWHheeerrrrRRRRrrrrn”

Han Solo
Name Han Solo
Location Free space.
Bio Don’t get cocky.
Sample Twit “Sorry I haven’t updated in a while, carbonite kinda restricts the typing fingers. 200 followers! I got more while frozen than I did thawed!”

Luke Skywalker
Name Luke Skywalker
Location Yavin 4
Bio Jedi Master. Husband. Father.
Sample Twit “Solo wants to chat. I’ll bet Leia’s been giving him jip again.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi
Name Obi-Wan Kenobi
Location Jedi Temple, Coruscant
Bio Life is stress.
Sample Twit “Anakin botched his waffles. Said, “They’re a bit on the dark side.” Ahahaha. Haha. Ha. No, I didn’t reckon it was amusing, either.”

Princess Leia
Name @-_-@ Princess Leia
Location Aldera City, Alderaan
Bio @-_-@ Teenage rebel. Interested in hair maintainance and *really* fabulous up-dos. Solo heiress of the Alderaan Organas (daahling).
Sample Twit “@-_-@ This is like my most desperate hour, evah. Help me de-Nerf my updo R2, you’re my only hope.”

R2D2
Name r2d2
Location Tatooine
Bio beep boop beep beep squawk wheet
Sample Twit “*bloop doot deet doot doot…SQUAWK!*”

C3PO
Name C3PO
Location Some dusty hell hole.
Bio Hello, I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations. How might I serve you?
Sample Twit “Trying to loose this stupid small droid that just beeps and whistles. Figured I would try stairs seeing as he doesnt have any legs.”

Bobafett
Name bob
Location refueling in Wellington, NZ
Bio place captain solo in the cargo hold
Sample Twit “Just as I thought, Google Tatooine is somewhat lacking in detail. Place Captain Solo in the cargo hold!”

Darth Vader
Name Darth Vader
Location Empire, CO
Bio Evil Orphan Annie™
Sample Twit “Heard through the Imperial grape vine that Dick Cheney is going as me for Halloween. Amusing ’cause I’m plotting on going as him.”

Darth Sidious
Name Darth Sidious
Location Coruscant
Bio Dark Lord of the Sith. Tyrant of the galaxy. Sometimes I feel misunderstood.
Sample Twit “Dark Lord is back. Now to choose which of the ninkinpoops to choke. As an aside, it sure is hard to type properly with these long nails.”

The Emperor
Name The Emperor
Location Coruscant
Bio Sith Master. Ruler of the Galactic Empire.
Sample Twit “A note for would-be emperor McCain: Do not trust your young apprentice.”

Admiral Akbar
Name Admiral Ackbar
Bio Mon Calamari. Supreme Commander of the Rebel Alliance Fleet.
Sample Twit “Just received transmission from an ancient friend. I can get a free Y-wing if I signup for a few free trials and get six friends to do the same.”

Lieutenant Worf
Name Lieutenant Worf
Sample Twit “Washing my hair and getting ready for my date with @DeannaTroi. Brut or Ancient Spice?”

Jean-Luc Picard
Name Jean-Luc Picard
Location USS Enterprise, NCC-1701-E
Bio Starfleet Captain. Donut Fiend.
Sample Twit “Captain’s Log: What is this Stardate revision stuff? Daylight Savings Time doesn’t work in space!”

Deanna Troi
Name Deanna Troi
Location U.S.S. Enterprise
Bio I’m in ur mind empathing ur thoughtz.
Sample Twit “@Will_Riker My mother is coming aboard at our next stop and want to have dinner with you. Please be punctual. *wink*”

William Riker
Name William Riker
Sample Twit “Running a level 3 diagnostic comb of my beard”

MOVIES

Borat
Name Borat Sagdiyev
Location Kazakstan..Very Nice!
Bio I make Sexy Time!
Sample Twit “Justine..Wow wow wee waa! Sexy Time??”

Terminator
Name Terminator
Sample Twit “@Cvalenti Possible response: Yes/No Or What? Go Away GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS Fuck you Fuck You Asshole”

Indiana Jones
Name Indiana Jones
Location Around the Globe
Bio Archaeologist, Professor of Archaeology at Marshal College, and Obtainer of Rare Antiquities
Sample Twit “Saw the new documentary for the first time this weekend at Cannes Film Fest…. I Have to say… I still got it!”

Deep Though
Name Deep Thought
Location Earth
Bio 42 is the answer. But what is the question?
Sample Twit “mmmmmh… maybe 6×7?”

Marvin the Robot
Name Marvin the Robot
Sample Twit “here I am, brain the size of the universe”

Aragorn
Name Aragorn
Bio Still not King
Sample Twit “Got a job offer from Sauron. Considering it – Reckon I would look excellent on a dragon. Still not King.”

Frodo Baggins
Name Frodo Baggins
Location The Shire, MiddleEarth
Bio Legendary Hobbit from Middle-earth
Sample Twit “We have now departed from Lothlorien after recieving a gift from Lady Galadriel…she wants me ”

Gollum
Name Sméagol Hobbit
Location Subterranean Lake
Bio Hello precious
Sample Twit “Oh twitter! Me likes me likes! It’ll lead me to my precioussssss!”

Tony Montana
Name Tony_Montana
Location Miami, Florida
Bio Say Hello To My Small Friend!!
Sample Twit “The cops didn’t believe me when I said I was a baker, man. It was flour in my trunk, I’m not lying, man.”

OTHER

The United States
Name The United States
Location US of A. Heard of it?
Bio 232 year ancient warrior-poet.
Sample Twit “Yeah, hi. Wal*Mart customer service? Yes, I’d like to return this economy. Receipt? Well, uh, it was a gift.”

Earth
Name The Earth
Location Sol
Bio What are all of these apes doing on me?
Sample Twit “I feel like I’m taking on a lot more water than I used to… wonder if that has to do with all that gas inside me… where’s the Pepto?”

Uranus
Name Uranus
Location Outer Sol
Bio Whoever named me is getting a foot up the ass
Sample Twit “So you reckon my name is amusing? You suck.”

Santa Claus
Name Santa Claus
Location North Pole
Bio I LIKE Christmas all year long. And I hope YOU still believe in Santa
Sample Twit “My, I have really fallen behind in email. I thought the elves were kidding me when they told me I had 3 months worth of email to read!”

Ebenezer Scrooge
Name ebenezer scrooge
Sample Twit “humbug”

The Grinch
Name thegrinch
Location In that black place in your he
Bio I’m kind of a huge deal.
Sample Twit “@santaclaus and what are you doing twittering and driving a sled? is that safe? Nice role model…seriously.”

God
Name God
Location heaven
Bio Hells yeah, it’s me!
Sample Twit “Palin follows me. I don’t follow her. She is a excellent mom, but she is unfit to lead the country. Me as my witness, I am supporting the Dems.”

Satan
Name Satan
Location Hell
Bio fallen
Sample Twit “a huge question on my todo list for today.. making google more evil or helping microsoft buy yahoo!?”

Batman
Name Batman
Location Gotham
Bio Dark Knight. Superhero.
Sample Twit “Last night’s patrol was silent. Tonight should be the same. I keep hearing about a guy flying around in red and gold armor. Must investigate.”

Metallica
Name Metallica
Sample Twit “Shopping for extra-small jockstraps.”

Michael Jackson
Name Michael Jackson
Sample Twit “Heading off to McDonald’s playland”

Master Chief
Name Master Chief
Sample Twit “My other car is a warthog.”

Sanjaya
Name Sanjaya Malakar
Location Burbank CA
Bio I am a singing wonder
Sample Twit “devistated…heading home now – thanks for nothin’ america”